When I asked the Lord to make a way for me to go to Mexico with my church group to help the people of Ensenada, Mexico, I received my answer in just days of my request. I only mentioned my desire to my wife Amy and a couple people, Bruce who leads the teams, and Cheri who is a dear sister in my church. Well the Lord must have laid it on Cheri’s heart to work on my behalf because without my knowing it she had orchestrated a fundraiser to help pay for my trip. Long story short, I received more than the money I needed to go, and from only a small handful of loving and charitable souls.
~Thank you Jesus! Bless those who gave and those who prayed for me in support. ~

4-30-2011 Ensenada, Mexico – I’m sitting on a deck atop the roof of the 3rd story YWAM building, it’s almost sunrise. To the left of me I hear the water breaking on the beach, to my right, the sunrise coming up over the mountains.
~Thank you Father for this beautiful morning! ~

I got up at 2:30 am, after tossing and turning from pain in my back and knees. I decided to go exploring. It was better than laying in misery. As I made my way down the ladder of the bunk I was in, after only two or three steps down, I decided to take a short cut and fell the rest of the way to the floor. “Crash!” or more like a loud “Thud”. The noise woke most of the men up, asking if I was OK. I reassured them I was fine as I apologetically walked to the door and left for a walk on the beach.

The sky was dark but I still could not see as many of the stars as I thought because of the light from the city and surrounding area. The street lights reflected the brilliance of the whitecap of each wave coming in and breaking on the beach. I walked along staying about two yards from the water on water packed sand. The tide was out quite a ways but quickly coming in again. I walked towards a lifeguard tower about a hundred yards from the street a little south along the beach from where I began walking on the sand. I climbed up the ladder of the tower, holding on tight with each step as not to repeat my earlier climbing experience. I stayed there for quite a while staring out at the water, looking to the left and then right at the water breaking, listening to the waves breaking is not a quiet sound but more like a loud rhythmic noise, quite soothing and almost hypnotic as the waves appear from the distance in the dark, illuminate from the street lights behind me as they come in, then dissolving on the sand, slowly coming closer in with each pass. I saw an occasional jogger or two passing by and then a man walking his dogs. I came out of my trance and stood up on the platform, stretching my back and twisting to get my body ready for the coming day. I turned and looked back towards the YWAM building and saw the sunrise was beginning its climb, coming in the distance, barely visible over the mountains. I climbed down and headed towards the base and the roof of the building, to shoot the dawn of a new day and record its beauty.

It was beautiful to watch the sunrise, with the sound of the water breaking behind me, the feel of the cool breeze on my sunburned neck and ears, my spirit excited to serve in new ways, reaching out as I can visualize doors beginning to open.

~ Father GOD, I pray you guide me with your spirit, humble me with these thoughts I keep hearing in my head, how blessed we are and don’t really appreciate all that we have. Please make my path straight for a return visit and give a blessing so in need, as I’m sure you keep hearing the requests. I feel a great love for these people Father and I hope my work done here this week will not have been in vane. Guide me, direct me, help me, to find your voice in the silence of my thoughts and dreams. Thank you Father…for this opportunity, and for the blessing of these people. En el nombre de Jesus Christos, Amen! ~

Webholyman

I pray today Father God, you fill me with your spirit of Love afresh each day, help me to see past the blinders of this world and into the very spirit of your nature, let me be as a brother, friend, and neighbor, to all I am able during my daily walk of faith, in Jesus’ Name, Amen!

~webholyman~

I recently re-discovered myself and found the person I have been avoiding for over 12 years.

In 1995/96 I went through a very ugly divorce…the second in 17 years. Although I made it back on my feet in a couple years, it took all these years since and my children, now adults, are still suffering from the fallout. Two of the five children are speaking to me, however our communication and heart felt talks are not very long or heart felt. I still pray for all of them every night. I can say without pause, I still believe in them and one day having a solid and meaningful relationship…just not today.

The big step for me has been in releasing the pain and anger in the silence. I do not receive many calls, the few I do receive have been via text mail to wish a Merry Christmas but rarely just a call to say “hello Dad, I am thinking of you and I miss you.” It’s been hard to swallow but I was not innocent of blame and equally responsible for the fallout. I just couldn’t get my head around the fact that any good I had done was always washed away by anger and bitterness in the hearts of the ones I loved the most. The harder I looked the more it evaded me the truth and reason for my suffering and pain, was in my anger in the silence.

I realized I was suffering from the most deadliest poison of all… unforgiveness.
I am sure of one thing today….I have a God that is mightier than the poison of unforgiveness and shadows of anger in the silence that follows me wherever I go. The sacrifice He gave for me… it was only then and now still, each time I think of my son Tommy, the son I thought I lost, I am reminded, of unquenchable fiery, unending, compassion and LOVE…the son who the Father freely gave for the lost in the dark to follow. In the silence it was then I realized it was when I was down and miserable and angry and lost….it was there waiting for me to receive it, albeit not deserved, it was still there for me, in the silence was my God and Father speaking to me, my spirit and soul felt surrounded and in the warmth of embrace I could hear His voice, telling me of his unending Forgiveness and Love.

I walk today finally free! I am free from the fallout of the events of my past. I am no longer afraid of the “…anger in the silence” following me. I am no longer hindered by the pain. Jesus is my resolve and my salvation. He was there for me before I ever was….
Today I walk with a newness in my gate, many songs in my heart, and forgiveness in my spirit, forgiveness that only I could give…forgiving myself, forgiving those who failed me, forgiving any and all the calamity that has ever befallen me, now just silence remains…I hear silence…

…It’s when my mind is silent and not filled with worldly things, it’s when there is the silence in my spirit, the silence I once hated…that’s where I found I can hear the small still voice. The voice of comfort and the voice of reason that says, “Tomas, my son, I love you, I always have, and I always will, I have never left your side. Your anger in the silence is the reason you could not hear my voice. You could not hear my words of comfort and reassurance, your mind and spirit were filled with poison, you could only feel hatred and bitterness and pain. I was there then and I am here now, I am here when you are hurting, i feel every pain, I am here to walk with you through your struggles, I am always there,…just listen to your heart speak, for it is in step with my heart and my love for you. Listen to the heart I gave you the day you became mine, the day I created you….and now your journey in life continues…and in the silence there is only forgiveness and Love and PEACE.

~WebHolyman~

PT I thought I should include you in this photo I just created for Amy.
We attended a memorial celebration / ceremony, put on by the support group we attend.
I pulled this foreground photo from one of the video frames I took.

I felt awkward at first, but I just had to take a picture.
Amy and I were sitting up front, just 5 feet from the table filled with lit candles, while some appropriate music was playing.
My hope that I was not going to offend the other families who were behind me was over ridden by my desires to preserve the moment.
My fear of offending others was relieved after I took my first snap of the first of several photos and then video.
Many of the other family members who were there to remember their lost one[s] jumped up and joined me.
They pulled out anything they had from small digital cameras to using their fancy cell phones that shoot still photos and videos.
I received another lesson on just how following my Instinctual drives can be a positive for others, especially when it comes to preserving an important Memory.
PT you are a huge part of our first and second most important memories.

Blessings…

~WebHolyman~

Remembering our sweet baby boy Tommy - Christmas-2010

Today is an important day for me and is as such each year. In addition to marking the historical date and accounts of the birth of Jesus, it also sets as a reminder for me of my own birth….or re-birth.
Twenty-nine years ago I gave up what was left of a shattered life……and began a new journey with Christ as my Morning Star, my beacon and compass. I received His Spirit to help me navigate through my wilderness wanderings and towards the true purpose of my existence, a life of service.

I have always wondered about what it takes for a soldier to give his/her life for another, and at times for others not even known. Today I do know what it takes and how much it means to me. Surprisingly it was not what I thought. I now know it is very simple, just a peaceful and willing spirit from within, that calms my fears and speaks to my soul, telling me it’s OK, that my purpose is being fulfilled just being present and ready. As I see the myriad of opportunities to help and serve others around me, in itself, this is where I find my salvation, strength, comfort, and peace, not by works of faith or through acts of kindness or of my own free will, rather allowing a driving force from within me that I cannot explain, be free to express and release the most important of all there is in life……LOVE.

~webholyman~

In my reading the Word today I performed a self-evaluation, looking at the fact this is a special time of remembrance coming up, the birth of our Lord and Savior, that I need to be steadfast in my walk always, not giving my best or my all just during the special times of year. I need to treat every day and every moment as a precious gift. This is the best gift I can offer others all throughout the year, the example of an honest love and concern, commitment, and dedication to family, friends and all those in need around me, as I am able.

In a conversation with my sister this afternoon, I felt compelled to mention, there are many hurting people out there today, just because this time of year acts like a fine lens and the focus may stir up emotion of a better time, maybe with loved ones lost or a wonderful time with family now lost or broken apart. These times can be painful, confusing and depressing. I encourage all who read this message today to remember to say a kind word to all those you meet this day, this week and throughout your journey, for you never know just how much a simple kind word can lift up a dying spirit or act like medicine for someone with a broken heart.

I pray today Father God, you fill me with your spirit of Love afresh each day, help me to see past the blinders of this world and into the very spirit of your nature, let me be as a brother, friend, and neighbor, to all I am able during my daily walk of faith, in Jesus’ Name, Amen!

~webholyman~

My Meaningful Thanks
If I have to think about it, to remember, then it either does not exist or is rare in my recollection.
I don’t have to think about my daily blessings to be thankful once a year. My happiness is based on the fact of knowing I am living my blessings daily just in my surroundings and the love and comfort I feel in my heart. After having experienced many of the downsides of life at an early age, I have learned to trust in my God and surrender my will to a calling I was empowered to endure. Today my prayer is that God’s love and comfort in my life today may be evidence of a deeper walk with Him tomorrow.
I pray blessings and Namaste to all the souls who come upon these words today….
~Webholyman

My prayer for the day
Thank you Lord for another day to be a friend, a brother, a son, a husband, a father, & grandfather.
Keep us safe Lord as we travel this day.
Bless me with the eyes to see the needs around me and to hear your voice leading me.
Thank you for my Sweet Bride and our baby yet to come.
Thank you Lord for my job and the ability to pay my bills.
Thank you for the opportunities around me to educate myself and grow in knowledge.
Help me to use what I learn to help my family, my friends and all those I meet.
Lord, guide me with your Spirit, let your light in me lead those in darkness, to a way out of confusion.
Increase my faith Lord and please forgive me when I doubt.
Let my heart and conscience bear witness of my desire, to bring honor and glory to your name….in all that I do and say…..in all I do and say…..to bring honor and glory to your name.

Help these words to echo in my mind, in my spirit, and as I breathe the air you give.
Help me to walk with your full armor encompassed around me, my family and all those in my life.
I pray for mercy and comfort for all those who are hurting this day, the hungry, sick, the lonely, those who are in prison, those who are dying and those who are afraid.
Thank you Jesus, for my life! Amen.

webholyman

Heading to Spokane this morning.
Spending time with family.

My prayer for the day – shared with all:
Thank you Lord for another day to be a friend, a brother, a son, a husband, a Father, & Grandfather.
Keep us safe Lord as we travel this day.
Bless me with the eyes to see the needs around me and to hear your voice leading me.
Thank you for my Sweet Bride and our baby now growing inside.
Thank you Lord for my job and the ability to pay my bills.
Thank you for the opportunities around me to educate myself and grow in knowledge.
Help me to use what I learn to help my family, my friends and all those I meet.
Lord, guide me with your Spirit, and be that light for me in the dark, to find my way when I face confusion.
Increase my faith Lord and please forgive me when I doubt.
Hear and witness my desire through my actions and my words, to bring honor and glory to your name….in all that I do and say…..in all I do and say…..to bring honor and glory to your name.

Help these words to echo in my mind, in my spirit, and as I breathe the air you give.
Help me to walk with your full armor encompassed around me, my family and all those in my life.
I pray for mercy and comfort for all those who are hurting this day, the hungry, sick, the lonely, those who are dying and those who are afraid.
Thank you Jesus, for my life! Amen.

G. Tomas Corsini Sr.

webholyman@gmail.com

WebHolyman begins his journey today……