Reclaiming the Peace from within…

For all those souls who can relate, reliving my past in my mind daily has brought me away from my faith and into a lonely wandering. I had felt the love from my family and friends but something has been missing. I begin each week to think I am going to be OK again because of the rise in my spirit and countenance each Sunday at church, but then as the days go on I fall back into that rut and sense of loss and loneliness.

I want to reach out for help but feel my arms are just not long enough. At times my journey is so long I feel like stopping where I am, lying down and giving up.

It feels like every time I read the news there is another story like mine without hope or recourse. As terrible as I feel, my heart reaches out to that other person but my throat is dry.

When I think about helping others using my story, my mouth runs dry and my legs go weak. I find myself looking for a place to curl up and hide until it passes. The fear and guilt I live with.

I wonder if there are others like me looking for a way out, a leg up, a trusting hand to reach out to. Who will help me out of this bottomless pit of suffering I have living inside of me?

I Praise God I found a light and hope for my life. It just came to me when I was in my darkest hour. While surrounded with feelings of inadequacy, guilt and emotional grief, right when I felt a weight upon my chest so heavy I struggled to breathe, He came to me.

I can’t put my finger on it, but I didn’t cry out any magical words like a spell or chant.

I was in my thoughts meditating while in my suffering, searching for some peace, and I heard a faint voice, but it was not an audible one, more like one I heard as if in a dream, if that makes sense.

The voice at first was not something I could make out but then as I drew my focus away from my suffering the words became clear to me. There were three words that kept calling out softly, “believe in me.”

I didn’t think it was God at first, maybe my own thoughts deep inside, the good and strong persona trying to get out of the penalty box, telling me to believe in myself.

The more I went in that direction I felt I was falling backwards or slipping away from the seemingly audible voice and it became faint again.

I decided to try reading my bible to see if that would bring me comfort and help the words become clear again, especially since over the years reading the bible over and again, I always walk away with a sense of peace from reading it.

I found comfort in Romans chapter 8, and it was more specifically a good reminder to me, verse 15 “for you did not receive the spirit of bondage again to fear, but you received the Spirit of adoption by whom we cry out, “Abba, Father.” and also verse 26, “Likewise the Spirit also helps in our weaknesses. For we do not know what we should pray for as we ought, but the Spirit Himself makes intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered. 27 Now He who searches the hearts knows what the mind of the Spirit is, because He makes intercession for the saints according to the will of God.”

I am discovering my faith has been lacking for the reason of my separation from God, rather than any specific sin or evil set upon me. Regardless of my regular attendance at my church, my keeping distance from my regular readings as I did many years ago, I believe is the reason for all the weight of sin, guilt and shame that had returned into my life. Trying to hide from it myself or showing it to others around me, I just made it worse.

Now I know that voice instructing me to “believe in me”, has been the Spirit of God reaching into my mind and inviting me back to a place where I found peace and joy for so many years. I don’t know how I became so far out from the path I once trod, but my heart and soul longs for a comfort that can only be a spiritual one from deep within.

I am on a path unlike the one in ministry I held before when I was so devoted to my reading the Word. I find it challenging at times to make time to read or study. With my recent revelation, which brings relief, I have decided to reclaim my dedication to reading and prayer lost to the cares of this world and everything in it.

I renew my vow of commitment to His word this day and its reading, as a new diet and eating a regular healthy meal three times a day brings the body into a good rhythm. So I pray, His Spirit remain within me and at my side, to keep me on this new path and help me from deviating from its direction and blessings.

~Webholyman~

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Mom’s story by Francine Orr

Mom’s story is on the front page of LA Times.

Francine Orr (Photographer) called me 2 days ago to tell me it was being released but I waited until I saw it myself before sharing it. Francine did a great job in giving one last portrayal of our Mom and in her use of sensitive images and video. Thank you Francine!

http://www.latimes.com/local/great-reads/la-me-c1-caregiver-20141218-story.html#page=1

St. Luke’s Lutheran Church – Champions for change…

On 10-09-14, St. Luke’s hosted an informational meeting with members of Imagine Housing and the City of Bellevue

The video link with only show summary comments on the process of changing the zoning and ‘Comprehensive Plan’ to allow for the 52 units on St. Luke’s property.

https://webholyman.files.wordpress.com/2014/10/st-lukes-a-pioneer-in-the-community.mov

Cheryl Story’s Call and Installation…

On Sunday 06-01-14 Cheryl Story responded to a ‘Call’ to be installed at St. Luke’s Lutheran Church in Bellevue, WA. where she will serve officially as the “Director of Music Ministries”.
Congratulations Cheryl! Go to the Family link to see more photos.

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Support the Northwest Center Kids

I just signed this petition on Change.org that needs our support.

http://www.change.org/petitions/seattle-public-school-board-don-t-let-seattle-public-schools-displace-program-for-children-with-special-needs?tk=KqIaqNUbuV6WrdLDQjNisFlzcLxsWHtDnp5eVqIP4Ic&utm_campaign=social_digest_email&utm_content=social_digest&utm_medium=email&utm_source=digest&utm_term=1

It is about the Northwest Center Kids, which operates an early learning and early intervention program serving both children with and without disabilities.  Seattle Public Schools activated a 6-month eviction clause in Northwest Center Kids lease after 28 years. This petition is to allow the center more time to relocate their organization, services and staff.

G. Tomas Corsini Sr.

Life Stories Launches!

Today is the first real public delivery of one of my new sites, http://lifestories.smugmug.com/ “Life Stories”.

I am collaborating with some new artists to begin this new journey of collecting many wonderful galleries of stories and events where sharing life stories is the subject. Please join me by sharing comments and linking to this new resource.

Family

Last night I was looking at some photos of two of my grandchildren and i realized, all my children are on my mind…tonight…and all the time.

I ponder, how are they each doing in life, physically, emotionally, financially, where is their faith walk, what is the status of their family.

I pray for them every night with my Sweet Bride Amy.

In Matt 18:19 & 20, the bible says: “v19 …Again, truly I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything they ask for, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. v20 …For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them…”

So tonight we prayed again for my children, and I asked the youngest of all, hanging out with God and all the angels, to keep watch over them all…Our dearest Tommy.

Family is one of the most important things to me, and one of my biggest challenges to maintain.
This is why I invoke my Lord, and my God, Jesus Christ…hear me Father GOD, I cannot do it alone.
I pray Holy Spirit, you are there beside each of them, speaking to them, listening for them to call out to you.
I pray for all my family, extended family and my brothers and sisters in my church. I pray for Peace for our country internally and for abroad. I pray for the unity of all believers to work and pray as one, for this peace and a time of healing for us all…in Jesus’ name Amen!

~webholyman

Seattle Sunsetting 2013

I was driving home after work on Monday evening and at a freeway on ramp light, i had to pull over into the emergency to capture this shot. It was so amazing! I thought i would share it here before archiving it with my Seattle photos.

Seattle_Sunsetting 12-30-2013

Today I saw my neighbors become heroes

I was watching TV when I heard a crash just outside my house.
Then there was a car alarm sounding. One man said he believed the woman’s car strut had broke causing her to lose control of her car.
The car collided into a parked van and then flipped upside down, landing on the driver’s side roof. The top had been crushed closing the window’s opening to allow the driver to escape. By the time I got to the other side of the car, my neighbors were already helping the woman get out of the passenger’s side…she apparently was thrown into the back seat and was not visibly harmed in the crash. I watched as I saw a couple of my neighbors calling 911 and reporting the crash. Other neighbors were offering the woman a blanket, water, a first-aid kit and comfort. I believe she is going to be fine. Today I saw my neighbors become heroes.

My wife just went to a workshop all about getting to know our neighbors. It’s amazing how many we met today!

https://plus.google.com/105862635322352898137/posts/jiWaqbkBGXm

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